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funny how things work out, huh?
well last tuesday (liiike the 11th i believe?) jimmy decided to break up with me. i was so shocked that i was completely lost for words. i just remember begging him not to, and all he could say was "i'm sorry" and hug me and hold me close. well i went a couple of days without seeing him. things just didn't feel right. i felt like i had the biggest wound across my chest. i didn't want to talk about it, so i told everyone "he said he doesn't love me anymore" and that's the end of it. which is partly true. the thing is, we both said i love you to each other, he just didn't know if he meant it. and now he knows now that he didn't. moral of the story: we don't say "i love you" anymore. at all. ever.
but anyways, that friday, i asked him if he'd like to come with me to hops to get a bite to eat. he was like "you're dumb for wanting to" but i was like "i'm gorgeous." but that's besides the point. we went to eat, went to the malls (BOTH OF THEM), and just hung out until it was time to go to steph's for her party. i honestly had never felt more awkward around a human being in my life. i had to bite my tongue at the mall from saying "baby, look at this!" or even trying to kiss him. it was tough and it was just breaking me down inside.
at steph's party, i was fine at first, but then everything hit me at once, and i just had to leave the room. i wound up in steph's room, crying my eyes out. ten minutes later, jimmy walks in and rushes over and hugs me. i finally catch my breath and just let out everything i though and felt at the moment. i told him that i don't care about other girls, as long as he doesn't cheat on me. i told him that getting to know someone is more fun and exciting and suspensful than actually knowing them. maybe we did rush things. yet, why wait? who's to say that we moved to fast? we can and will go at our own speed. there are feelings there, and there probably always will be. my weakness is, that i care too much. yep. so we went back to his place and i sat on his bed. he walked in and asked "so what do you think?" and i said "i think we should be together" and he replied "i think so too" and kissed me. then he pulled away and said "happy one month" ....... cutest thing ever.
so we're still together, still strong. i will never leave him for anyone.
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